Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
