THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
