I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
