I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
