I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
