Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize