I'm jealous of your bromance
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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