"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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