Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
