Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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