we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
