I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
