dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
