My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
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