Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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