My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize