That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
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