i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
