You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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