Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
The beer is more important than you right now.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
