if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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