I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
