babies were throwing up all over the place
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Still dying that you shit outside
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
