the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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