either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
