Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
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