Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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