dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
