It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
