My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
