Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Randomize
