we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
