Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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