Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize