quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
