ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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