It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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