You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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