rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
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