she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
