Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
