i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
