I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
