The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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