i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Slut skills are useful in every country.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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