Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
