I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
