let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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