with your own penis?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
