I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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