Quick, to the slutcave!
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize