If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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