I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
