SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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