Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize