he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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