wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
You can't just leave with hair like that
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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