as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
