I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
