GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
