Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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