wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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