I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
