we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
So many bounce houses so little time
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
