the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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