i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
